


Moustache Mayhem

by Accidental_Child



Series: D. Gray Man Shorts [2]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Beards and Moustaches, Crack, Criminally Short One Shot, Gen, Insanity, Weird Facial Hair, Weirdness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-23
Updated: 2014-08-23
Packaged: 2018-02-14 09:02:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2185761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Accidental_Child/pseuds/Accidental_Child
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short one shot depicting the events of the infamous 'Facial Hair Day'.</p>
<p>Pretty much my excuse to write the main characters of D. Gray Man with facial hair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Moustache Mayhem

**Author's Note:**

> Whee. This is one of the first stories that I wrote for this fandom, many many years ago.

  
It was a perfectly normal day. Men were men. Women were women. Gender challenged people were gender challenged people.

That is, until some genius thought decided that it would be a good idea to get Allen to wear a moustache. (Spoiler: the genius was Allen)

That’s when it got really weird.

Allen woke up happy. He did his morning routine of chair push-ups, and then went to shower. As he was washing his face, he had a weird thought; What would happen if he wore a fake moustache and beard?

Since he usually got up early, when he sneaked into the RD there was on-one there (well, no one awake anyway). He quickly swiped a bottle of hair growth potion, and some of the hair samples that Komui had gotten from who-knows-where, and ran back to his room. After taking a pit stop to the nearest supply cupboard, he rushed to his mirror. There was much work to be done.

  
***

  
To anyone in the cafeteria, the world could have suddenly died. Time had stopped, and it wasn't because of Miranda’s Innocence.

Allen… Allen… had a beard. And a moustache. The apocalypse was coming.

Allen rushed to his friends, his new facial hair whipping behind him. He stood on the table, letting the whole world have a look at his lovely new hair.

“It is now officially Facial Hair Day, so anyone who would like to chose what style of facial hair they want for themselves, come quickly.” As Allen was talking, he held up a florescent green moustache. “Anyone who declines choosing for themselves has theirs super glued to their faces.”

  
***

  
To the finders returning, it was like stepping into a dream. A really strange and insane one.

They went to report to Komui, only to find him wearing a foot long moustache. They tried not to stare. They failed. When they were offered a box filled with moustaches and beards. Still shocked, they numbly chose, and had the facial hair applied to them.

It was only when they went to their friends that they finally got told the story.

“You wouldn't believe what they did to Levellier. Allen and Lavi ambushed him, and super glued a huge beard to his face! It’s hilarious!” Johnny said in a rush, red faced from trying not to laugh and porting a small tuft of lime green hair.

“And then they went over to Hevalaska, and asked what moustache she wanted.” Reever, who was wearing a bright pink beard, started laughing, and soon everyone was, especially after Kanda walked past with a luminous blue handlebar moustache. He was obviously very annoyed with it.

 

***

 

Anyone who didn’t want any facial hair was ambushed, and by lunch, everyone had some sort of beard or moustache. Even the females.  Lenalee had particularly striking sideburns.

Unfortunately (for Allen), the glue wore off in twelve hours, and soon everything was back to normal. Or, at least, as normal as it normally was in the Black Order.


End file.
